Examining examples of personal statements can be exceptionally valuable when applying to a university or college course. Looking through a range of personal statement examples can teach you how to write and structure your application, and you can often learn how to write a personal statement by examining others.
But with so many university personal statement examples available, how do you know which ones are worthwhile and which aren’t?
Postgraduate personal statements should highlight relevant academic and practical experience, research skills and ambitions and their suitability for the course. This postgraduate personal statement example for Human Resources illustrates several of these three critical elements.
Studying master’s degree personal statement examples can be especially valuable. They’re sometimes referred to as personal mission statements or statements of purpose, so if you’re tasked with writing a personal mission statement, the following example will work for you.
I’ve broken down this personal statement example section by section, with a commentary on each element.
That way, you’ll see its strengths and weaknesses and get some inspiration for your own personal statement.
Once you’ve read the personal statement example and analysis, you’ll be able to download a pdf of the whole document, to use as inspiration for your own!
Postgraduate Personal Statement Example: Human Resources
Personal Statement Example: Introduction
“I believe companies need to be employee-centred, as keeping them satisfied, motivated and personally engaged can create immense value for any organisation. Effective human resource management strategies are therefore crucial to business success. However, my intern experience at the Slater-Marshall accounting firm illustrated that HRM often fails to achieve these challenging goals. The reasons are two-fold. Foremost, many small and medium-sized companies have a misperception of recruitment, regarding it simply as a KPI tool instead of finding talents that match their development needs. As a result, time and resources are wasted on candidates who are not a good match for the company. Worse still, many HRBPs are not shrewd or experienced enough to identify the breadth of talent needed by their companies. HRM also loses its effectiveness when it fails to use proven physical and psychological means to provide a fair and encouraging working environment and subsequently incentivise employees.
First-hand experience of these kinds of issues triggered my curiosity regarding contemporary strategies used when empowering companies to employ a sound human resource management system. How can HRM lead to organisation change? How can I develop professional HRM techniques, release their full potential and create harmonious industrial relationships? The desire to equip myself with the relevant understanding and skills is the driving factor behind my application to this MSc Human Resources and Organisations (HRM Stream) programme at the University of Buckley.
This particular course resonates strongly with my career goal of helping traditional enterprises establish enhanced human resource management systems. Your programme offers a variety of opportunities that will aid me in developing a complete grasp of human resource management theory from the perspectives of corporate strategy, business analysis and organisational management. For instance, the Management of People in Global Companies course will afford me a transformative perspective on leadership. This knowledge will assist me significantly when transforming outdated models of human resource management in enterprises lacking advanced human resource awareness.
Furthermore, the Business Strategy, Management and Analytics course will be of exceptional professional value thanks to its cross-disciplinary approach, which will offer me a solid grounding in the comprehensive understanding of management theory, theory of the firm, business strategy, accounting and finance. Professor Sara Blake’s research on organisational behaviour and leadership is incredibly inspiring and aligns perfectly with my goal of strengthening leadership in traditional businesses. I look forward to learning from her and contributing to future projects.”
Commentary and Analysis
This is a long introduction!
This opening section has a strong sense of purpose, connection and opinion, which immediately gives the reader a firm idea of the writer’s experiences and opinions. The writer also uses an excellent range of specialist vocabulary in this example and connects their significant experiences with the course. In addition, the applicant is already making explicit links between the course and their ambitions.
The writer then identifies specific modules and outlines how they will aid their academic and professional advancement. Not only does this connect the writer’s goals with the course content, but it also shows that the applicant understands the course and has researched the details well. The reference to a specific professor from within the faculty and the connection between the writer’s research ambitions and the opportunities presented by the university are compelling. The writer creates a clear link between their suitability for the course and the content on offer.
If you’re struggling with your personal statement introduction, check out my article on how to write perfect opening paragraphs here.
Personal Statement Example: Academic Background
“Majoring in Accounting and Finance as an undergraduate, my dedication to my studies earned me several awards and ranked me top among my peers. Excelling in courses such as Theory of Firm, Introduction to Managerial Accounting and Business Law, I acquired a spectrum of theoretical understandings which underpin HRM. I have independently investigated the organisational role of HRM by exploring Dave Ulrich’s HR model and the six segments of HR management, examining their adoption by companies of different scales. I have learnt that the role of HRM is to identify the kinds of human resources needed by the companies and allocate those resources wisely to maximise productivity and profitability. Consequently, I regard HRM as a people-oriented sector. This makes understanding human behaviours and psychology in the workplace particularly important for industry practitioners.
Studying on the Introduction to Managerial Accounting course, I was informed that how money is distributed within an organisation is crucial since it determines whether employees’ incentives can be fully realised. Thus, establishing a sound salary and welfare system is of great importance. Different people and contrasting organisations have various demands, but a successful compensation and welfare system balances these two demands and activates the organisation’s motivation. My most significant gain from this course is that many aspects of HRM, including setting different KPIs, performance monitoring and well-being management, are based on developing an accurate understanding of employee behaviour patterns. This can lead to a win-win situation in which companies can fully tap into employee value, and workers receive appropriate remuneration and opportunities for progression. Additionally, knowledge of labour laws and regulations has familiarised me with the rights and duties of employers and employees, which will be of great value to me as a graduate student.”
Commentary and Analysis
The first paragraph of this section is written confidently. It outlines some academic achievements without writing them as a list. The writer achieves this by explaining what they gained from their experiences. They then link these elements to the course and show how they will be of value.
The most impressive aspect of the second paragraph is that it illustrates connections between the subject of undergraduate study and the intended postgraduate course. The writer is showing transferable skills that will be of value in the future and making explicit connections between the two different subjects, helping to show how a diverse educational background adds to their suitability.
Again, a sense of value is central to this section. The writer ensures that each example is given a value regarding the application’s demands.
If you’d like to learn more about how to structure your personal statement or statement of purpose, check out my awesome Personal Statement Template eBook here. It’s full of detailed examples of what to include!
Personal Statement Example: Practical Experience 1
“Beyond the classroom, I have operationalised my theoretical knowledge in real-life practice. Interning at the Scorpio Real Estate Development Co, I assisted with the entry procedures for new staff and witnessed the career development of numerous employees from varying departments. Observing the recruitment patterns and preferences of different types of organisations, I observed that state-owned companies tend to recruit talent and offer higher salaries and better entitlements to maintain a low turnover rate and stable employee structure. By contrast, foreign and internet companies attach less importance to stability and focus more on talent creativity. My knowledge of HRM models and labour economy inspired me to think that these differences in recruitment strategy may arise from the varying nature, management structure and strategic positioning of each enterprise. I aim to develop my understanding of these differences during my master’s research.”
Commentary and Analysis
By using the example of an internship experience in a seemingly unrelated field, the writer has been able to offer an opinion on their workplace HRM experience. This shows a degree of industry experience but, more importantly, allows the writer to use their expertise to connect with the course’s content.
By offering an opinion of what they observed and showing an understanding of gaps in their knowledge, they are turning a lack of knowledge into a compelling motivation for their application.
Check out lots more examples of personal statements here, and see how they can inspire your application!
Personal Statement Example: Practical Experience 2
“Moreover, this internship taught me that approaches to HRM are constantly being adjusted and adapted based on practical experience. For instance, the Scorpio Real Estate Development Co is an established business. An established company’s policies and incentives allow its employees to be more aware of the steps needed for advancement and long-term growth. After many decades, the organisational structures of big firms stabilise, and roles become formalised and repetitive. This implies that employees should simply repeat previous tasks and rely on the company’s existing operational system, but this approach can cause workers’ inventive talents to diminish with time.”
Commentary and Analysis:
This section deepens the value of the writer’s internship and adds evidence to their understanding of the sector they wish to enter. This is ideal for an admissions reader, as they will note the use of language and complexity of informed knowledge in this passage. This, in turn, adds to the candidate’s academic and professional suitability.
The passage also reflects the writer’s ethos, alluded to earlier, and effectively leads to the conclusion by setting up their professional ambitions.
The one thing that all successful personal statements have in common is that they are concise, engaging and accurate in spelling, punctuation and grammar. Consequently, I always recommend Grammarly to my students and clients.
It’s an outstanding tool for ensuring your personal statement is rich with detail whilst hitting those all-important word limits. Check out the free version of Grammarly here, or hit the banner for more information.
Personal Statement Example: Conclusion
“More positively, many well-known multinational corporations are now devoting more resources to employee training in order to address these issues. It is my intention to place myself at the forefront of this burgeoning field after graduating and apply the skills and knowledge gained from this course to play a critical role in revolutionising the value and application of human resources management in a global setting. I have complete confidence in both your esteemed academic programme and in my capacity to perform outstandingly as a purposeful and positive member of your faculty community.”
Commentary and Analysis
The conclusion benefits from brevity and doesn’t recap previous content, both of which are positives. It clearly states the writer’s professional ambitions, which relate directly to the previous content. The passage then links those ambitions with the course, emphasising its importance in helping the writer achieve their goals.
A powerful personal statement, it includes several critical elements: relevant academic and practical experience, ambitions and suitability for the course. It also offers good connections to the course but needs detailed examples of research experience and ambition. However, it doesn’t provide evidence of the academic skills necessary for postgraduate study, although the evidence of prior learning is convincing.
With a little more focus on academic reading, research and skills, this would be a perfect postgraduate personal statement!
For more great advice, check out my article on writing an excellent final personal statement paragraph here.
Whether you’re looking for personal mission statement examples or an example of personal purpose statement, I hope this personal statement example has been helpful. Above all, I wish you every success in your academic career.
If you’d like to work with me to develop your personal statement 1:1 and write a powerful mission statement, I’d be delighted to hear from you.
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