Examples of personal statements can be valuable to reference when applying to a university or college course.
That’s because personal statement examples can teach you how to write and structure your application, and you can quickly learn how to write a personal statement by examining others.
But with so many university personal statement examples available, how do you know if you’re reading a good one?
Postgraduate personal statements should highlight relevant academic and practical experience, research skills and ambitions and their suitability for the course. This postgraduate personal statement example for Technology Entrepreneurship & Innovation considers these three critical elements.
Studying master’s degree personal statement examples can be especially valuable. They’re sometimes referred to as personal mission statements or statements of purpose, so if you’re tasked with writing a personal mission statement, the following example will work for you.
I’ve broken down this personal statement example section by section, with a commentary on each element.
That way, you’ll see its strengths and weaknesses and get some inspiration for your own personal statement.
Once you’ve read the personal statement example and analysis, you can download a pdf of the whole document to use as inspiration for your own!
Postgraduate Personal Statement Example: Technology Entrepreneurship & Innovation
Personal Statement Example: Introduction
“As an undergraduate economics student, I have become increasingly fascinated by how my knowledge of macro and microeconomics, econometrics and international policy development can be applied to my growing interest in entrepreneurial technologies. Developing the new skills of creative product development, testing, data analysis and entrepreneurial vision in this course will complement this existing academic portfolio and mark a significant step in my professional development. Indeed, graduate study will give me the tools to identify profitable business opportunities, solve complex challenges and make decisive, strategic decisions. I aim to position myself as a future leader in the field of technological entrepreneurship, and I am confident that engaging with the courses, faculty and networks available at the Marshall School of Business will allow me to achieve this ambition.
To become a successful technology entrepreneur and innovator, I intend to step into a new field and gain real-world industry exposure. This will allow me to experience hands-on learning opportunities and observe the practicalities of hybrid leadership. Consequently, I am keen to benefit from the experiential stream offered within this MTEI program. The opportunity to work closely with various networks, investors and business partners is compelling: it is the most dynamic and actionable route to achieving a rich understanding of the opportunities and challenges inherent in this industry.”
My Commentary and Analysis
This postgraduate personal statement example begins extremely convincingly. The writer clearly understands the field they are applying for and immediately evidences their suitability with a tangible demonstration of relevant knowledge and vocabulary.
They also make an immediate connection between their previous experience, knowledge and the outcomes of the course they’re applying for, which reassures an admissions reader that they have an understanding of the demands and content of the course.
That’s important, as it’s far more likely that an applicant will successfully navigate the demands of a course if they are fully prepared and informed.
The writer also frames their lack of experience as a strength in the second section of this introduction and acknowledges it as motivation for further study.
Finally, by referencing a specific aspect of this programme and using the language of the course description in a sophisticated way, the writer creates a stronger connection between their goals and the course.
This is a compelling and detailed personal statement introduction that immediately establishes knowledge, capability and suitability.
If you’re struggling with your personal statement introduction, check out my article on how to write perfect opening paragraphs here.
Personal Statement Example: Academic & Practical Background
My undergraduate studies have prepared me for the academic demands of this master’s degree while my internship experiences have given me a sound understanding of the demands of the workplace. For example, I deepened my research skills while writing a paper entitled “Factors Affecting Unemployment”, in which I used macroeconomic variables as determinants of unemployment and undertook detailed statistical analysis using EViews. As a brand promoter for the Cirillo Group, I am currently learning how to conduct market research, analyze the behaviour of target audiences and develop social media campaigns to increase brand awareness and drive customer engagement.
My Commentary and Analysis
The writer establishes their capacity for research and academic writing by referencing a paper they’ve written. Crucially, they also include evidence of the relevant skills they developed as a result, deepening the value of the experience in relation to their application.
By referencing the skills being developed in their current role, the writer relates the content more closely to some of the demands of the course. This is a valuable strategy to use if your background doesn’t obviously fit the criteria of the course you’re applying for.
By mentioning the transferable skills gained, the writer has drawn the most value from the experience. They’ve also shown that they have a further understanding of the course content.
If you’d like to learn more about structuring your personal statement or statement of purpose, you can read my complete guide to writing a master’s degree personal statement here.
Alternatively, click on the image below to download a free template for structuring your writing.
Personal Statement Example: Ambitions For Study
I look forward to applying and advancing these skills in this MTEI course and integrating them with best industry practices. I am especially keen to apply my background in economics to the study of Entrepreneurial Finance and gain a deeper perspective on policy delivery, new venture finance and public fund-raising. Equally, I am keen to expand my knowledge of brand management through the advanced study of value creation and marketing metrics in the Entrepreneurial Marketing course. I believe that this module’s applied learning focus will complement the internship knowledge I will gain in the experiential stream.
Developing a depth of knowledge regarding technological innovation is crucial, and the Technology Strategy and Productivity course, alongside the Leading Technology Innovation and Change module, will therefore be of significant benefit. Understanding best practices for technology adoption and emerging technologies assessment will allow me to make increasingly confident and profitable decisions. My high capacity for problem-solving, communication and developing networks will also develop my leadership potential.
Commentary and Analysis
This section of the personal statement has two central functions. It evidences the applicant’s understanding and knowledge of the course they are applying for in detail and establishes how they intend to use existing and new learning to achieve their goals.
As such, the reader doesn’t learn a great deal of new information about the writer as an individual but does gain the reassurance needed to consider the writer as highly suitable from an academic perspective.
In that sense, it’s a powerfully effective section that makes good use of relevant vocabulary.
Check out lots more examples of personal statements here, and see how they can inspire your application!
Personal Statement Example: Justification Of Course Choice
As a Bangladeshi national born and raised in Saudi Arabia and currently studying in Malaysia, I value the opportunity to live and study in a multicultural environment and find Marshall’s commitment to equality, diversity and multiculturalism inspiring. Being an ambitious young woman who has already achieved a range of successes, from a Dean’s Award and tuition scholarships to results of distinction and holding offices within faculty and student union organisations, I recognise the challenges women face in business and technical innovation. I am delighted, therefore, at the focus placed on facilitating the entry of women into this industry and the practical legacy of Dr Lara Medrow’s vision of reversing female under-representation.
My Commentary and Analysis:
In another sophisticated paragraph, this section justifies the choice of course and demonstrates an understanding of faculty ethos and aims. By linking their heritage and history with the ethos demonstrated by the faculty, the writer demonstrates their suitability and connection with the course and, again, shows the reader that they understand the institution’s aims.
The writer then references further academic achievements whilst linking them to the faculty’s intentions in terms of gender representation. Not only does this serve to further connect the applicant with the institution in the mind of the reader, but it also adds a level of detail which is quite compelling.
The one thing that all successful personal statements have in common is that they are concise, engaging and accurate in spelling, punctuation and grammar. Consequently, I always recommend Grammarly to my students and clients.
It’s an outstanding tool for ensuring your personal statement is rich with detail whilst hitting those all-important word limits. Check out the latest version of Grammarly here, or hit the banner for more information.
Personal Statement Example: Conclusion
To conclude, I am confident that I can contribute positively to the work of the faculty and be a valuable support to my peers. The Marshall School of Business produces the innovators and entrepreneurs of the future; I look forward to counting myself among them.
My Commentary and Analysis
This section is probably the weakest, partly due to its brevity but also because it lacks the detail found in the rest of this personal statement example.
It would have been more effective if the writer had identified exactly what they were likely to contribute to the faculty community in terms of skills, experience, knowledge or peer support. With no details offered, it’s hard to justify this sentence, and it feels rather like a token comment.
The last sentence is well-written but, again, doesn’t add anything new. Perhaps if the writer had taken the time to research successful alums and related themselves to these course graduates, it would have added a layer of relevance which is, otherwise, lacking.
In summary, this is an excellent academic personal statement that demonstrates the applicant’s suitability and knowledge very well. It lacks some personality, some relevancy to technological entrepreneurship and industry, and is perhaps too brief to have as full an impact as the writer might have wished.
For more great advice, check out my article on writing an excellent final personal statement paragraph here.
Whether you’re looking for personal mission statement examples or an example of personal purpose statement, I hope this personal statement example has been helpful. Above all, I wish you every success in your academic career.
If you’d like to work with me to develop your personal statement 1:1 and write a powerful mission statement, I’d be delighted to hear from you.
Find out about my personal statement support services by clicking here or on the image below.
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