Examining Personal statement examples and reading other people’s informed opinions of them can teach you how to write and structure your application: you can quickly learn how to write a personal statement by examining others.
Reading examples of personal statements can be valuable when applying to a university or college course, especially at the postgraduate level.
But with so many university personal statement examples available, how do you know if you’re reading a good one?
Postgraduate personal statements should highlight relevant academic and practical experience, research skills and ambitions and their suitability for the course. This postgraduate personal statement example for Engineering Technology clearly illustrates these three critical elements.
Studying master’s degree personal statement examples can be especially valuable. They’re sometimes referred to as personal mission statements or statements of purpose, so if you’re tasked with writing a personal mission statement, the following example will work for you.
I’ve broken down this personal statement example section by section, with a commentary on each element.
That way, you’ll see its strengths and weaknesses and get some inspiration for your own personal statement.
Once you’ve read the personal statement example and analysis, you’ll be able to download a pdf of the whole document, to use as inspiration for your own!
Postgraduate Personal Statement Example: Engineering Technology
Personal Statement Example: Introduction
Effective and dynamic engineering management teams have given leading companies a high degree of competitive advantage, allowing them to secure an edge in the global market. Increasingly, organisations and individuals have realised that successful engineering and technology management is crucial in creating social wealth. This positive trend will inevitably result in a greater need for engineering management experts and is my motivation behind choosing this master’s in Engineering Technology and Business Management. As today’s graduate job market is highly competitive, gaining a postgraduate degree will further enhance my chances of employability in this challenging but rewarding field.
Commentary and Analysis
This introduction begins with a sophisticated, clear and relevant point. It demonstrates the writer’s understanding of their subject and industry. It’s a confident start without being arrogant in tone, which will be highly engaging for an admissions reader.
The writer identifies the value of the subject in a financial and practical setting and makes a case for continued study and expertise in that area. By clearly outlining their motivations for applying, the writer has also created a link between their ambitions and the course, significantly strengthening their suitability.
This is a deceptively complex and subtle opening, as it doesn’t directly speak about any of the writer’s actual experience. However, the reader will be able to tell that the candidate is relating the application to their own practical and academic education.
If you’re struggling with your personal statement introduction, check out my article on how to write perfect opening paragraphs here.
Personal Statement Example: Academic Background
My years of undergraduate study have allowed me to make sufficient preparations for my graduate studies. As a student of Mechanical Design, I developed a sound understanding of the principles and practice of technology and engineering, preparing me well for the demands of my Engineering, Technology and Business Management Project. I have gained a sound understanding of physics, which will successfully support my graduate study of the global electronics industry. Developing my understanding of the technology used in contemporary smart energy or communications systems is key to my professional development, whilst gaining a high-level understanding of strategic management techniques will build on my existing skill set. The courses I have taken, such as Probability Theory and Statistics and Project Management, have developed my logical thinking abilities to a high level and encouraged me to organise my independent study and research skills to maximise my achievements.
Commentary and Analysis
The writer carries on in a confident tone, stating clearly that their prior academic experience makes them a strong candidate, before linking that comprehensively to specific examples of the postgraduate course content. They also identify the value of the course in terms of the skills it will allow them to develop.
By writing this way, they evidence their prior knowledge and understanding of the course they are applying for. That’s exactly what an admissions reader wants to see.
They end this section by clarifying the value of further courses of study and referencing transferable study skills, indicating their strengths as an academic student.
If you’d like to learn more about how to structure your personal statement or statement of purpose, check out my awesome Personal Statement Template eBook here. It’s full of detailed examples of what to include!
Personal Statement Example: Practical Experience 1
Keen to develop my management skills after graduation, I worked at Parks Ferry, followed by a range of other companies. As an associate recruiter, I was responsible for conducting initial phone interviews with engineering background candidates and weekly keeping-in-touch meetings with clients. Additionally, I conducted market mapping for desirable talents and developed and executed various recruitment strategies in the engineering technology space. This job encouraged me to apply theory to practice and improve my communication and organisational capabilities. Most importantly, it helped me accumulate work experience and affirmed my goal to develop a career in the engineering management sector. I intend to build my skills and knowledge in this field in the Managing for Innovation course, which I consider critical for achieving my long-term goals.
Commentary and Analysis
The writer’s internship experience wasn’t directly relevant to the demands of their postgraduate application, but they have written about it strategically. By listing new skills and then connecting specifics with examples that connect with their desired industry, they’ve created value from an otherwise ‘neutral’ experience.
They’ve used it to show how their interest in Engineering Technology and Business Management developed, and again managed to link it to a central element of the course. That’s critical, as postgraduate admissions readers expect to see evidence of the value of internship experiences.
Check out lots more examples of personal statements here, and see how they can inspire your application!
Personal Statement Example: Practical Experience 2
In the two years that followed, I was fortunate to gain increasingly responsible roles at NXP Semiconductor and Apple, both Fortune 500 companies. I gained valuable practical insight into engineering management in the workplace and became aware that project managers should take the time and responsibility to build rapport between different departments. As a project leader for Apple campus recruitment, I had the opportunity to combine my background in design and engineering with project management and communications, preparing me well for the Strategic Management course. I have witnessed first-hand the need for professionals in this industry to consistently implement effective contemporary management strategies such as feedback systems, compensation systems and business systems. Subsequently, I developed ways to ensure recruitment quality and improve employees’ well-being.
These experiences not only enhanced my vocational skills but provided me with the opportunity to observe how to manage professional issues efficiently and how to cooperate with my colleagues. I am confident that my professional background has prepared me well for studying core modules such as Modern Industry Practice and optional units such as Effective Decision Making, both of which require a sound understanding of engineering practice and confident management.
Commentary and Analysis:
The writer has been able to build on the previous section here, identifying valuable experience at key companies. Doing so shows capability, determination and a degree of quality, which a university would be pleased to harness. Evidence of leadership and engagement in the business environment generate confidence in the writer’s suitability and commitment. References to the writer’s ‘professional background’ and a wider range of management strategies show maturity in the field and an awareness of the broader contexts of management.
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Personal Statement Example: Conclusion
My short-term goal is to consolidate my theoretical and academic foundation and enhance my capacity to combine theory with scientific research. To achieve this goal, I intend to research literary texts, industry publications and opinion pieces related to engineering management in your extensive library. Ultimately, I plan to apply for a significant engineering management role in a fast-growing, forward-thinking company. Beginning at the assistant level, I will strive to be a leader and departmental manager capable of delivering effective, productive and reliable services to my clients.
Your university is internationally renowned for its excellent teaching and rigorous academic spirit. I look forward to developing a close working relationship with your faculty team and obtaining specialised and relevant theoretical knowledge, which will give me the tools, resources and networks to achieve my long-term goals.
Commentary and Analysis
This conclusion is probably the weakest aspect of the personal statement as it lacks specificity. The writer’s short-term goal is to study, but there’s little reference to their exact research goals, the projects they would contribute to, how they would add value, or which faculty staff members they admire or aspire to work with.
In that sense, it’s quite general, which is a shame considering that the rest of the statement is so strong.
This is a confidently written personal statement with strong connections to the course. However, there’s little evidence of prior or ongoing research goals, wider skills, specific ambitions or academic skills.
For more great advice, check out my article on writing an excellent final personal statement paragraph here.
Whether you’re looking for personal mission statement examples or an example of personal purpose statement, I hope this personal statement example has been helpful. Above all, I wish you every success in your academic career.
If you’d like to work with me to develop your personal statement 1:1 and write a powerful mission statement, I’d be delighted to hear from you.
Find out about my personal statement support services by clicking here or on the image below.
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